Effective communication is something that is very useful in every day life as it effectively conveys your intended message to the other party, be it verbal or non verbal.
I was traveling on the MRT on a Monday, on the way to ES2007s lesson. It was about 9am and the train was quite crowded, with all the working adults rushing to work and all the seats were taken up.
In view of the courtesy campaign going on, all the trains have designated seats near the door for people with special needs like the elderly, children, handicapped and pregnant ladies. When I reach a particular stop, there was this pregnant lady coming in. She caught my attention as she had a very big tummy. I continued to observe her for a little while. After squeezing through the crowd at the door, she immediately turned to the seat nearest at the door and tapped on a young lady’s shoulder who was sitting there and fast asleep. When this young lady woke up from her sleep, she had the blur looking face and was quite surprised to see a pregnant lady standing in front of her. Without hesitating, the pregnant lady pointed to the courtesy campaign poster pasted at the top of the seat, hinting to the young lady that ‘Hey, this seat is reserved for me!’ I was quite taken aback when I saw such a scene. But since this seat is really reserved for people like them, I cannot really comment much.
On the following Thursday, I was on the way to ES2007s lesson around the same time. Again, I saw this pregnant lady boarding the train and she did exactly the same thing, turning to the person that is seated nearest to the door and requesting for the seat to be given up to her.
No doubt I agree that this pregnant lady needs the seat more than the other commuters, I think that somehow or another, she is exploiting her rights to get a seat in the train. From my point of view, the seats near the door is reserved for those people with special needs, however, it should be based on one’s own willingness to give up the seat, instead of those people requesting for it. Some people may look perfectly fit on the outside but may not be suitable for standing too long a time due to leg problems. Thus, does it mean that these people without visible special needs are not suitable to take the reserved seat and have to give up their seats when these ‘special needs people’ request for the seat?
I think that this courtesy campaign has done a good job in promoting courtesy as I do see people giving up their seats. However, organizing a courtesy campaign is not to just paste posters around and not looking into the consequences and impacts of it. To me, I think that this is a form of bad communication on the organizer’s part. The poster that they have pasted is the cause of the problem. Being so briefly explained, it has led to the exploitation of rights by those special needs people. Such a problem can be solved when the organizers take a little effort to be more precise in drafting their posters and explain further what these posters really mean. Do these special needs people have the right to request for the seat or is it based on one’s own willingness to give up the seats to them? It is not right to assume that the readers of the posters understand the exact meaning of it. I am sure just a couple of lines of words will do the job!
UCS1001 MME Tri2 2023-24 Dynamic Thinkers
1 week ago
This is very interesting, Michelle. The scenario you describe is clearly explained and your analysis appropriate. What is surprising to me is that the value of courtesy has yet to be internalized by train riders, the campaign notwithstanding. In a place like Japan, and even the US, I think, commuters would have been jumping out of their seats to give the pregnant woman a seat because she obviously is in need of one. There would be no questions asked. (Of course, maybe one of the people you describe is in pain; but maybe not.) That this is still an issue in the MRT startles me a bit.
ReplyDeleteThanks for raising this issue.
What do others think?
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteHaa, what an observation. Although I got quite a shock as I was reading the post, I can totally imagine the scenario because I know how we Singaporeans tend to behave sometimes. This is also one of the reasons I avoid taking public transportation during peak hours. I'd rather stay put for a few more hours to get a more pleasant ride home.
I think the designating the seats is a good practice. I think the people who understand the rationale behind having such seats would not need further clarification. Selfish people, however, would not (they would need more education or empathy for others before they could see anything).
I agree with you that some people may have their (unseen) special needs, explaining why they occupy such seats in the first place. It would thus be unfair to them, should such a thing happen.
I feel that it wouldn't be a problem in the first place, if the pregnant lady had a more politically correct approach to this. I believe she needn't do anything; it would be a matter of seconds before someone else gives up their seat for her. The seats are also designated to give the occupant extra pressure (i.e. the way people will look at him/her) to give up his/her seat, conforming to socially correct behavior/norms. I think the fault here lies with the pregnant lady, not the authority.
I thought it was a good post! Cheers!
Hey Michelle!
ReplyDeleteThis is funny! I haven't been on the morning train for very long already. I think this pregnant lady is very demanding and I feel that she is indeed exploiting her 'right'. I am sure that her husband is having a hard time giving in to her always!
It must be the 'project aftermath' that you're evaluating the courtesy campaign. I thought that 'pictures tell a thousand words' is much easier to convey messages as some people are more attracted visually by pictures rather than reading word signs? I guess the problem is with the attitude of the pregnant lady who is so unreasonably pushy.
Anyway, it's really enjoyable to observe human behavior and interpret these little actions. (=
Hey Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI would be really annoyed if it had happened to me.I agree with you that sometimes, the person in need of the seat may look totally fine on the outside but be tired / have leg problems etc. I think there should be a mutual understanding that if the seat isn't given up to you, it means the person using in needs it just as much too.
Really glad that you brought this up, because I experience this quite often. Eg: When the seat right infront of me is finally empty, and I've been standing for the last 8-10 stations. Before I can even sit, a young, normal looking auntie just swoops in and takes my seat. That sure if frustrating after waiting so long, and the auntie makes it sound like it's her perogative! :S
Hey Michelle,
ReplyDeleteWhat a sight! The pregnant lady really has a "thick skin" indeed. This is the first time I heard of such things happening; demanding for her due privilege. But I guessed you ae right. Since she qualifies for the "Priority Seat", we can't tell her off. We can't tell a person off for his/her attitude problem, especially so for a pregnant stranger.
I think the lady who was sleeping would be feeling ridiculous. The pregnant lady made the whole scenario seemed like the lady didn't want to give up her seat. Well, just her day. Haha! Eh, thanks for sharing this funny incident!
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. I am surprised that the pregnant woman was quite demanding in making passengers get off the seat. I agree with Roy that if she just waited for awhile, someone will eventually give up the seat for her. I have never seen this scenario before when I took the train,
The pregnant woman could have asked for the seat more politely instead of just pointing to the poster and abusing her right, afterall the poor lady was fast asleep and did not know this pregnant lady was in front of her. Although the way she communicated was not appropriate but I felt that the reason behind her actions are valid. I understand that some people may look perfectly fine on the outside and they may really require the seat due to some leg problems but if we look at it from a different angle, this pregnant woman is just trying to protect the life of her unborn child and even hers. If anything were to happen such as she lost her balance while she was standing, 2 lives may be gone.
Therefore, for a courtesy campaign to be successful it should definitly be up the one's willingness to give up the seat, but if this person does not know the basic courtesy, the pregnant woman was probably just trying to teach them the hard way. What do you think?
Dear Brad,
ReplyDeleteHow I wish the value of courtesy in Singapore is like the one that you have described in Japan and America.
As I stay far away from the city area and I do not drive, my main form of transportation is by train. Travelling frequently, I observed that many young and able bodied individuals pretend and not acknowledge the presence of these people with special needs. Some will pretend to sleep on the train or be busy with other things that they are doing.
I think that Singaporeans need to be educated again on the values of courtesy and not being so self-centered. By giving up the seat to someone who needs it more that oneself, such small act of kindness, if being appreciated by the other party, will really make your day!
Dear RoarRoar,
ReplyDeleteHaa.. I hate to travel during peak hours too!
I agree with you that the fault lies in the pregnant lady. But then again, not everyone will feel the extra pressure when there is someone standing in front of them who need the seat more than them. Like what I told Brad, some of the commuters will just ignore their presence! Think this is also the reason why SMRT is going to employ more kindness ambassadors to patrol the trains so as to assist commuters with special needs to get a seat. I think that Singapore needs to place much more emphasis on instilling courtesy values in the people.
Hi Sze,
ReplyDeleteI really agree with you that it is really quite enjoyable to observe human behaviour. Sometimes on my way to school, instead of reading my notes, I’ll just observe the people around me and the little actions of the commuters can reflect greatly on their personalities and values in them. It really keeps me occupied! Cheers! I know I am bad, laughing at them deep down in my heart. But when I do come across people whose actions I absolutely disagree with, I’ll just be thick skin, staring into their eyes and shake my head. In other words, I’m telling those people that ‘You are so wrong by doing those actions and I look down on you!’ Wahahaha…
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ReplyDeleteDear Jane,
ReplyDeletePerhaps you will have to be used to such ‘rights’ that Singaporean aunties have. I experience that on the train all the time! Aunties generally think that they have special rights and do not bother to give up their seats and always fight to alight and board buses and trains. It really does annoy me! So I will either stay as far as possible from them or fight with them as I just cant stand their ‘kiasu-ness’!
Dear Grace,
ReplyDeleteI think that as long as one is sitting at the priority seat and does not give up the seat when there is someone else who needs the seat more, everyone will be pointing fingers at that person. So it is really up to this person to give up the seat or not. If this person is thick skin enough, I do not think anyone really has the right to demand for that seat, unless is the train’s kindness ambassador!
Eeeee.. What an ugly sight!
Dear Hui Xia,
ReplyDeleteTo be frank, not many of the commuters are willing to give up their seats for these special needs people. Many a times, commuters will just ignore their presence, which hurts me when I see such a scene.
Hmmm.. I think that courtesy is not something that needs to be explicitly taught unless one insist on not being courteous. Being courteous is something that should be practiced in everyday life. However, judging from the character of the people now, the younger generations may suffer as the kids will simply learn from such bad examples and when they grow up eventually, they will be just the same as the parents. How sad!
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteWhat a chance! You bumped to the same lady twice in a crowded MRT cabin!
Back to your post, like what Grace said, I think she had a "thick skin" indeed. If I am in her shoes, I would definitely not do what she did. Perhaps she could just lean for awhile instead of demanding a seat.
I guess you are right, it is up to the commuters if they are willing to give up their seats. However, it would be rude for anyone not to give up seats for a pregnant lady.