The parking lot is sparsely used at 8 a.m.; likewise at 5 p.m. As managers – you either do not know what your EMPLOYERS are doing; or YOU do not CARE. … You have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. … What are you doing, as managers, with this company makes me SICK.
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Sorry that I am unable to find any email or letter from my relatives or friends to analyse on. Therefore, I went online to search for one.
This is an email from the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) from XXX Company to his senior managers. Maybe some of you might have seen it before. From the content of email, it is easy to tell that the CEO is extremely unhappy with the employees under the senior managers who are coming late for work and leaving early. Well, the email is pretty concise and clear judging from the length. Also, the reader is able to interpret what the CEO is trying to put across and the cause and effect of the problem. The email also has coherence but is without cohesion. However, the CEO is extremely not courteous in his writing and is disrespectful to his subordinates. He could have drafted his email in a more courteous way and avoid using capital letter words and the excessive use of … . Using a direct approach to deliver his harsh message, he could have ended his email in a more positive way, building goodwill with his colleagues. I think that this will definitely cushion the negative effect by quite a bit.
Email, which has become one of the most commonly used modes of communication, it is important to practice the 7Cs in writing and principles of business correspondence. Not practising them, we may unknowingly offend or make the reader feel uneasy with the way we draft our email, thus hurting the relationship.
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting email. Is it from a Singaporean company? Haha!
Anyway, I think the CEO could show his anger in a more politically correct manner. For axample, "You have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. … What are you doing, as managers, with this company makes me SICK" could change it to "I am not pleased with your management. Should you not carry out your responsibilities and show me you are worth the designation, you shall bear the consequences". I hope this sounds better yet retains the urgency and anger so that the senior managers would know that the CEO meant what he said.
This is a fine example, Michelle, and you do a very good job critiquing it. Thanks for your effort!
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I am not the one who received this email! haha
I think that the CEO did not display any courtesy in his email. By emphasising certain words with block letters, it is rude as if he is literally shouting those words at them and it shows that he has no respect for his employees. The way people treat you is dependent on the way you treat them. Hence if the CEO wants to be respected, he should respect his employees and this should be shown through the way he communicates with them and being courteous is the most basic thing to do.
As a CEO, it is understandable that he has to be strict with his employees but I think he can be firm without appearing fierce or being abusive in his words. He could have said ‘I expect you to rectify the problem as soon as possible or I may have to intervene’. I think this shows that he is being firm and he also giving a warning to the managers that if they did not solve the problem, they may bear undesirable consequences.
I agree with you that even in emails, the 7Cs should be present as it is one of the common means of corresponding with people. Using the 7Cs as guidelines will ensure that communication is effective and in this case, if the CEO had used the 7Cs, I think the relationship between him and his managers would still be good. After all, his employees are part of his assets to the company. :)
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteHow unfortunate of the employees to have such a CEO above them. I seriously hope that the company I get into in the future would not have such a CEO.
I agree that the CEO should have been more respectful to his employees in order for him to gain respect from his employees. By phrasing his opinions about the behaviours of his employees in such a negative way would definitly affect the relationship between him and his employees. Furthermore, the CEO should have ended his email with a complimentary close such as "best regards" or " yours sincerely".
However, judging from the tone of the email, it would be rather surprinsing if the CEO bothered to end the email with a proper closure=) Good analysis here!
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting letter indeed.
Firstly, based on the letter itself, I think it is pretty obvious that the CEO has not been communicating effectively with his employees.
Secondly, as the CEO of the company, I felt that he should have known better on how to write an email using appropriate terms, even if it meant having to convey negative news.
I think it would be better to start the email with “I appreciate the hard work that all of you have been putting in so far. However, there are some issues that have been brought to my attention lately."
Hi,Michelle
ReplyDelete^_^We are in the same situation.I also couldn't get the business letters from my friends here.I asked some friends who had worked before,they all said that the business letters were confidentially sent by using the company's email account,since they left the company,they lost their account.
It is obvious that the lack of courtesy is the biggest problem in this Business Email.You also mentioned other problems existing in this email,which i think they are all correct.
However,I think that if you could set separate paragraph for every problem that you have noticed,it will be easier for readers to check if you have left out some aspects.
Hey Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this example even though it wasn't like what the others had. I had the exact same thoughts as you did when I read what the CEO had written.
Being a CEO himself, it did not give him a right to be so rude and discourteous to his subordinates. Furthermore, despite the email being concise, his tone and lack of proper writing totally ruined the entire letter. It clearly goes to show that the 7C'S is not just a method for us to keep in mind while we write letters, but it also helps us keep up with an image. One that lasts a long time depending on how your message was delivered to others.
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, it was the wrong method to write an email. Due to this mail, Mr. CEO is generating negative energy in their whole office. He should write these types of email in very polite manner. There was no doubt his managers were not fulfilling their responsibilities, but still he could give this message in very positive way.
In the above written message, he was showing his angers and rudeness towards his all staff. He was spreading the negativity in his whole office.
Dear Jane,
ReplyDeleteIf I am the one who received an email like this, I'll be absolutely furious and I should be the one that is feeling sick! Laughs!
Yup, I totally agree with you that keeping the 7C's in mind also helps us to keep up with an image. From this email above, I'm sure that this CEO is a nasty nasty man and the reputation of the company is down the drain!
Dear Vikki,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback! I'll take note when I'm doing my blogpost in future!
Cheers!
Dear Hui Xia
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it is indeed important to build a good relationship with our fellow colleagues, be it face to face or through emailing. It's hard for the colleagues to be friendly with you face to face and then be nasty when conversing through email. Won't it be so so so weird? Wahahaha
Thanks Brad! Hope you don't mind that I used an example taken from the internet. Sorry for that.
ReplyDeleteDear Grace,
ReplyDeleteThis email is not taken from a Singapore company. And also not very convenient to disclose the name of the company. You can try searching it online though. Laughs! Yup, i agree that there are so many more other ways and better ways to draft his email so as to convey his message without losing his firm stand. Perhaps it's just his character or he just cannot be bothered to be courteous to his subordinates. Gosh!
No problem, Michelle. You've generated a good discussion!
ReplyDeleteDear Nadiah,
ReplyDeleteI agree with the suggestions that you have written. There are many ways to put across a message. However, it seems like the CEO just couldn't be bothered to be courteous. I think that sometimes, such insensitive remarks can be caused by the power that the CEO has in hand. With greater power, one will have even greater responsibilities. Therefore, I think that it is really a skill to handle such situations. Maybe this CEO should take our ES2007s module! Haha!! Cheers!
Dear Shu Juan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a thorough analysis of the email.
I really agree with you that if one wants to be respected by other, then one must first learn to respect others. And although he is the CEO of the company, his subordinates are equally important as there is no 'I' in a team!